Episode 216: The ROI of Mentorship - How to Retain Top Talent Without Higher Pay by Colleen Stanley

Colleen Stanley | The ROI of a Mentorship Culture & Ending the "Phubbing" Epidemic

How much is "Phubbing" (Phone Snubbing) costing your organization's trust?

Most leaders view mentoring as a "nice-to-have" that loses the battle against urgent deadlines. In this episode of the Uncommon Leader Podcast, Colleen Stanley (author of Be The Mentor Who Mattered) challenges that mindset, arguing that mentoring shouldn't be a formal program to manage, but a culture where "no one goes alone."

Colleen shares her moving origin story of how community mentors stepped in during personal loss and offers a refreshing, accessible definition of mentorship—from "book mentors" to "moment mentors." We dive into the practical and the profound, covering:

• Culture vs. Program: Why a mentorship culture scales faster and drives higher ROI in retention and productivity.
• The "Fobbing" Epidemic: How pulling out your phone mid-conversation destroys trust and coaching opportunities.
• Creative Leadership: Lessons from "Sister Emma" on problem-solving and service.
• The Time Myth: Real-world ways to mentor during airport rides, workouts, or even a quick trip to Chipotle.
• The Power of Words: How five intentional words can dismantle self-limiting beliefs and change a career trajectory.

Stop waiting for a formal initiative to start leading. Learn how to integrate small, repeatable actions into your day to build a legacy of growth.

Ready to level up?

✅ Subscribe for more leadership strategies.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 Colleen Stanley👇
➡️ LinkedIn (primary): https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleenstanleysli/
➡️ Website: https://www.salesleadershipdevelopment.com/
➡️ BOOK: https://www.salesleadershipdevelopment.com/resources/

#Mentorship #CEOStrategy #LeadershipPodcast #ColleenStanley #theuncommonleaderpodcast 

Thanks for listening in to the Uncommon Leader Podcast.  Please take just a minute to share this podcast with that someone you know that you thought of when you heard this episode.  One of the most valuable things you can do is to rate the podcast and leave a review.  You can do that on  Apple podcasts, or rate the podcast on Spotify or any other platform you listen.  

Did you know that many of the things that I discuss on the Uncommon Leader Podcast are subjects that I coach other leaders and organizations ?  If you would be interested in having me discuss  1:1 or group coaching with you, or know someone who is looking to move from Underperforming to Uncommon in their business or life, I would love to chat with you.  Click this link  to set up a FREE CALL to discuss how coaching might benefit you and your team)

Until next time, Go and Grow Champions!!

Connect with me 

Transcript

Mentorship Culture Versus Program

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What's the difference between a mentorship culture and a program? I had the good fortune to start with a very small company. Today I realize it's a startup and they are now a $3 billion company. I believe to my core, one of the reasons for their success is we had a mentorship culture. But we didn't have formal mentoring programs. I mean, when you're with a startup, you are running hard. What do they say? You're building the plane as you're flying. However, I can tell you I had more mentorship conversations, guidance, whether it was from my boss or peers. So I believe since there aren't as many large companies that may have PR departments that can install these programs, the learning and development departments, I believe what we can achieve is that if you hire people, and so you change your hiring process to hire people that have a servant's heart, a desire to help people. As a leader, you set the expectation no one in this organization goes alone. Think about what that does for a mentorship culture.

Welcome And Why Mentoring Matters

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Hey uncommon leaders, welcome back. This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast. I'm your host, John Gallagher. My guest today is Colleen Stanley. And while her history that we'll talk about today is really about success in sales, she's written two best-selling books on the sales success process. We're really here today to talk about her newest mission and her newest passion. And that's her most recent book on mentoring. Looking forward to really learning about the ROI, the return on investment of a mentorship culture inside of organizations. I think you're going to love to hear some of the stories that she shares with regards to people that have impacted her life as well as stories of other leaders who share the power of mentorship. So, Colleen Stanley, I'm very excited for our conversation today. Welcome to the Uncommon Leader Podcast. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 1:52

I am doing great. And thank you for having me as a guest. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

No problem. I mean, when I get when I get the chance to really start reading through your book, I knew it was going to be a natural fit for those listeners, the Uncommon Leader Podcast. They're looking to inspire others, encourage others, and you share many stories in your book. And this may lead you right into my first question for all of my first-time guests is to ask them to share a story from their childhood that still impacts who they are as a person or as a leader today. So let's start there

Loss And The Community That Mentored

SPEAKER_00 2:19

with you.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Sure. And and it really, John, I would say this story is one that inspired this latest book, Be the Mentor Who Mattered. When I was 14, uh, my brother John was killed in a car accident. You know, like any brother, I'm sure in most families, he was a beloved, beloved brother. I mean, he was charismatic, he was kind, good looking, athletic, and generous. And so, you know, it devastated the family. And then within a year, my parents divorced. And so what happened is in the course of a year, my parents really were, you know, really just unable to provide some of that emotional support. However, I lived in a small farming community in Iowa, and the people in that community knew our business. You know, the old joke is everybody's in your business in a small community. Well, I'm grateful they were because a lot of those people stepped up and they mentored, they helped, and they counseled without any judgment, you know, on the family or how it was being handled. So I would say that origin story is the one that really made me, as I get to this point in my life, be so grateful for those people that were looking up and around and being able to help me as that 14-year-old trying to make my way.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Love that. And I love the story and the impact that it has. And again, as we go through and learn about mentors, sometimes it is those tragic events in our life where we find uh individuals uh who are going to impact us for a long time and they stick with us uh over time as well. Well, again, I I touched on this a little bit in the introduction. Your success has been really written with regards to your sales prowess, if you will. You've been ranked uh uh in the top by Salesforce in terms of being in the sales training space. Uh you even got to number one in 2024 in one of the rankings that existed in terms of sales mastery, yet now you're turning it over into this mentoring piece. So, how did you get to writing a book on mentoring after two bestsellers about the sales process? And who did

Why Write A Mentoring Book Now

SPEAKER_00 4:09

you write it for?

SPEAKER_01 4:09

So, two questions there. How did the idea come about? Well, I call it was the divine downvote. I'm literally hiking in the foothills of Colorado. And John, out of the blue comes this be the mentor who mattered. And I'm thinking, where did that come from? But I went home and bought the URL. And if I backtrack, what I realize is every morning, because I do teach emotional intelligence, I always start my morning in solitude, prayer, reading something positive. And in that time, what I recognized, I had always mentally, in my gratitude moments, been running through the list of mentors that showed up in my life. And I was giving thanks for them. So I think just over the years, me having this practice around emotional intelligence and being grateful for mentors then led to me writing this book. The book, who it's written for, it's interesting because I really had to make a decision. Am I going to make this another sales book? And there are a lot of stories about sales because that's the world I played in for, you know, and still do for 30 some years. However, I do want the stories to resonate with somebody that's outside of the sales profession. And that's where we gather 25 stories from people in the military, healthcare, academia. And I think all of those stories, regardless of what industry you're in, they can help you be a better person if you're in a leadership position, a better leader. And so I would say it was written for the masses, unlike my very narrow sales niche before.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

I love

A Simple Definition Of Mentor

SPEAKER_00 5:34

that. I mean, look, the definition of a mentor. Let me let me ask you that question first, because you actually give it a very simple definition. Many people think about mentors as you know, they have to be spending time very focused and intentional time. What is a mentor to you?

SPEAKER_01 5:49

I really, I was glad that a friend of mine posed that question as she read through the book, you know, the first draft. And you know what I realized, and this is based on my life experience, it's anyone that shows up, they're a role model. And sometimes, John, my mentors are book role models. You and I were just talking about John Maxwell. I have never met him. However, he's been a mentor to many just through the writings. Um, but it could be somebody that, you know, just models how they lead their life. They've actually given you uh formal mentorship, but it can also happen in moments. So I think it's anyone that's helped you. And in that help, it's either been encouragement, tough love, and also examples of being resilient. That's who a mentor can be. And and as I stress to people, everyone has the opportunity and the gift to contribute. So you don't need a big title, you don't need a bunch of big offices. And often that's where I saw, and and no criticism because they're one wonderful books to read, but I often saw these books on mentorship, and it was these people that became wildly successful. And sometimes I thought, well, gosh, that's that's putting it out of our realm of possibility. So maybe you call it the everyday mentor because we all have that opportunity to make a difference.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Well, and you touched on it right there, the opp that opportunity to make a difference that's really impactful. Before we hit the record button, I talked about that in the form of those individuals that have had a positive impact on your life, and you remember them over time. My Angelo, at least she's given credit for the quote, people won't remember what you said, they won't remember what you did, they'll remember how you made them feel. And mentors, no doubt about it. Even those that you don't know, like John Maxwell, as a mentor, as an author, or how you write, but certainly those mentors in your life, they're so much easier to remember than things that have happened so recently. Who are the last five Pulitzer Prize winners, or who are the last five Oscar or Academy Award winners for what they did, kind of thing? We don't remember those names because they didn't impact our life directly. Yet when we look back over the course of an entire life, it's so much easier to remember those names. And that's where I see the power of the mentor coming out as someone who's

The Running Nun And The Hearse

SPEAKER_00 7:48

made an impact. I wanted to ask you about your very first story that you wrote about someone who impacted you that I thought was really fun, because I think we share this. And that was a nun in your life at Catholic school. Tell me a little bit about that story and how she impacted your life.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

So I grew up in a very small farming community, but within that community, there was a high population of uh Catholics. And so I went to Catholic school for eight years, and sister Emma was the principal. And what I believe to this day is even subconsciously, some of those seeds she planted in me. So, for example, Sister Emma was the first nun that when you could get rid of the traditional garb, maybe that's not the right word, she went to the more modern uniform, right? And then she could play the piano like a whiz. Well, prior to that, we'd, you know, had the traditional gospel hymns, and there's a wonderful place for them. But as kids, we love the upbeat ones she brought in. And then during recess, it would not be uncommon to see her outside racing with us. And one of the funnier stories I shared about Sister Emma, she was a person that decided, you know, my kids here in the Catholic school, I want them to have some of the same um privileges the kids in the public school do. So I don't know if she negotiated, but she talked to the public school principal and she said, Hey, can they participate in physical education and home ac and there was something else? And the principal said, Yeah, fine, you just need to get them across town. Now remember, this is a small town, but the school buses don't run any other time other than morning or evening. Sister Emma goes out and buys a hearse. Yes, you heard me write, a hearse takes out the seats, and all these kids are piling into this hearse. We ride across town and we get to partake in physical education and home economics. So I believe Sister Emma was the first person that taught me where there's a will, there's a way. And secondly, you don't have to do it the traditional way. You know, play b play new music, race with the kids outside. So she was a very positive influence.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

I love that. I mean, I would I would say that Sister Nicodema in my life, she's my fifth grade math teacher. She was a nun as well. That would be outside and recess. You could see her pitching for the kickball games or frankly participating in the water balloon fights as well that we had on the last day of school. I'll never forget that. When when she had thrown, you know, she was a lefty too. She was uh of course she swung the paddle like that too. So many things in your story, by the way, that cannot happen today. Riding in the back of our hearse in general, kids in no seatbelt and things like that. So many things that just wouldn't happen today. But the the uh persistence that she had in making that happen has been so really cool. I know I'm gonna get to some of these other stories inside of your book, but let's talk about some of the things within mentoring

Fobbing And Being Fully Present

SPEAKER_00 10:25

in this area. You you talk about a term inside of your book called fobbing. What is is fobbing and uh how does it what does that have to do with mentoring?

SPEAKER_01 10:34

So fobbing is a term that came from an is uh study done in Israel. And in real simple terms, it's people that can't put their phones down. And we see it all the time. And now finally, I think we are seeing where the social scientists, the academics are saying, and just common sense is saying, you know what, when you're fobbing somebody, you interfere with the quality and the quantity of conversations. Because, John, I bet you've had a situation where you're talking to someone, you actually think, you know, the conversation is interesting, and all of a sudden that little smartphone, which I believe is making us dumber if you're not knowing how to manage it, they'll they'll bring it out and you're sitting there, okay, who do I talk to? Do I finish this sentence? And so the term fobbing is basically when you're not being fully present, you're pulling out that smartphone and you're fobbing somebody.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Love that. And we shouldn't do that. I uh just some of those fun terms that are there. You talk about there's a story inside your book. And folks, I encourage you to get the book just for these stories that are there, where you uh fired a client for fobbing, I believe, that they were so focused on their phone and their computers that they weren't focusing on the sales experience and training that you were trying to bring them. And then ultimately you think about that inside of organizations. And here's another mentoring question is that that becomes part of the culture. That fubbing becomes part of the culture. Now, in organizations, many of the folks listening in are executives or managers, and we want to have mentoring inside of our organizations.

Creating Mentoring Culture In Companies

SPEAKER_00 11:59

You talk about the difference in a mentoring program and a mentoring culture. Tell me the difference in the two, and how do I convince, we'll say, upper management that mentoring is important or there's an ROI on mentoring.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Well, two things. Let's take a look at the first question. What's the difference between a mentorship culture and a program? I had the good fortune to start with a very small company. Today I realize it's a startup, and they are now a $3 billion company. I believe to my core, one of the reasons for their success is we had a mentorship culture, but we didn't have formal mentoring programs. I mean, John, when you're with a startup, you are running hard. What do they say? You're building the plane as you're flying. However, I can tell you I had more mentorship conversations, guidance, whether it was from my boss or peers. So I believe since there aren't as many large companies that may have HR departments that can install these programs or learning and development departments, I believe what we can achieve is that if you hire people, and so you change your hiring process to hire people that have a servant's heart, a desire to help people. As a leader, you set the expectation. No one in this organization goes alone. Think about what that does for a mentorship culture. So you don't have to have the formal A program. It doesn't mean it's not successful. But I find a lot of people when they look at a formal program, they go, we don't have time for one more program, we don't have the expertise or the manpower. So if you have everybody just looking up and around, not down at their phones, so you might spot somebody in a meeting, and let's say it's a young professional, and that young professional, you know, spoke up in the meeting, and maybe they got shut down by either a clueless person or just a dominant personality. Well, you can take that person aside and say, hey, I noticed in the meeting you shut down after that. Let's talk about that and how you want to handle it the next time. That can be one conversation that changes the trajectory of that person. So that that's what I mean about the mentorship program and uh the difference between the culture.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

I love that and different. So, I mean, clearly more important to have that culture inside of that than just the the checking of the boxes, if you will, inside a program. And again, the other side of that is that the upper manager says, well, there's no return on it. So, how how do you help them understand there's a return on investment in a mentoring culture in an organization?

Proving The ROI Of Mentoring

SPEAKER_01 14:12

So you can actually get on the internet and do a search on this, okay? And there is, I could cite stats uh for days on this, but let me give you a couple. So we talk about retention, right? Well, organizations that have a mentorship culture or a formal program with millennials, they are likely to say five years or longer. Now think about that. We always say, oh, this is a generation that job hops or this, but when you take a look at the cost of turnover, that can amount to 850,000. Companies with formal mentorship programs, they've been showing that they make 2x the profit. Now, those are just a couple of points I'm gonna cite. And so when you take a look at this, the data is there. Now, let's also take a look at some other research. Gallup research has shown for years. If you have a best friend at work, you're going to be happier, probably stay longer, be more productive. Well, guess what? If you have mentors at work, if you have a mentorship culture, a culture of happ uh of helping, you've got a best friend at work. So, right there, just take that research, which keeps showing people are only third only 30% of the population are engaged in their work. And part of that also goes to a McKinsey study that when they started looking at why people were leaving, they thought it was pay. Uh, they were looking at other factors. The number one reason is that people didn't feel valued and recognized. Now, managers are being charged. I keep reading that they're getting more and more direct reports. So let's say that's the truth. The manager knows they should be coaching and mentoring, but they're not. That's where peer mentoring can make up. You know, you can have a senior rep, you can have a junior rep, and that I'm using the term, but if you've got a peer culture of mentoring, you don't have to go it alone. You got a best friend at work.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Love that. Kind of an accountability partner that goes along with it, just that you're going to meet on a regular basis. And you touched on this a little bit, even in the time constraint that we

The Time Excuse And Time Audits

SPEAKER_00 16:04

have. We continue to get more and more direct reports. So one of the things I might hear is I don't have time to do mentoring. What are some of the other, and let's just call it what it is, excuses that folks use that say they don't they don't do mentoring?

SPEAKER_01 16:17

So when you take a look at the time, here's what I've worked with more than one team on. And if you take this into the EQ world, it's called delayed gratification versus instant gratification. It's what Covey referred to as the important but not urgent. Mentoring falls into the important, not urgent. Then we've got the tyranny of the urgent that he talked about, quadrant one, important and urgent. Well, now if you would slow down, and as a leader, think about how many repeat problems you deal with every day. Often the repeatable problem, because I came from a background of manufacturing and distribution, my belief is if it's repeatable, it's fixable. But if you don't slow down to figure out why this person keep making the same mistake, maybe it's technical, why does this leader keep making the same leadership mistake? Well, part of it is training, coaching, and mentoring falls into delayed gratification. Important, not urgent. Um, also, I would say this, John, our profit and loss statements are not capturing everything. So if you take a look at a profit and loss statement, it doesn't capture reduction in mistakes created because we spent the time training, coaching, helping this person become better, become more confident. So I think there's a lot of reasons. The second is come on, you don't have time, do a time audit. There are places you are saying yes to when you should say no to and see, but all of that requires slowing down and doing something called thinking. What am I saying yes to that is taking me away from one of the most important things? You know, you develop your people, a lot of your workload gets easier, but you got to put in that work first to earn the reward.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Yeah, I think about that. There's that's so good. The important, not urgent. Yeah, those that I coach will often say, I know it's important to develop my team, but then it comes to that second one. But I it just takes so much time to do it. Hey, on Kama leaders,

A Quick Sponsorship Break

SPEAKER_00 18:08

hope you're enjoying the episode so far. I believe in doing business with people you like and trust and not just a company name. That's what a strong personal brand is essential, whether you're an entrepreneur or a leader within a company. Brand Builders Group, the folks who have been helping me refine my own personal brand, are offering a free consultation call with one of their expert brand strategists. They'll help you identify your uniqueness, craft a compelling story, and develop a step-by-step plan to elevate your impact. So head on over to CoachJohnGallagher.com slash BBG as in brand builders group. Schedule your free call and take the first step toward building a personal brand that gets you noticed for all the right reasons. That's CoachJongGallagher.com slash BBG. Now, let's get back to the episode. Yeah, what is the more valuable time in your organization? And you touch on this in terms of engagement and people leaving when they don't feel valued. There's so much there. And I know, again, that data exists that you talked about with the value of folks knowing that you care about them in

A Mentoring Story With Five Words

SPEAKER_00 19:02

the organization. And the last thing on that, even partly what keeps me employed or you employed even as a sales uh consultant as well, is that, well, I'll just delegate that to someone else to have them develop who go into coaching or consulting, whatever that piece is. But it's very difficult to delegate that from a leadership standpoint, again, so that they know they have a mentor they can rely on in the future. Your book talks about stories, especially the first few are your stories of people who have impacted your life. Tell me a story where you've been a mentor and been able to make uh one of your favorite stories an impact on someone else's life as a mentor to them, Colleen.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

So the story that comes to mind first is I was a volunteer at the Tennyson Center for Children, and they are a large residential treatment center for kids that have been abused and neglected. And I was volunteering for a little girl, and she and her sister actually were wards of the state because the abuse at home had been so difficult. So I was able to pay it forward here from a former mentor of mine. So I don't have kids, and but I I have 60 nieces and nephews, so I I know a little bit about it. So anyway, I'm gonna call, I'll call her Jennifer. So Jennifer was a very shy young lady, and I was spending an hour with her every week, and she loved to go to Chipotle. I mean, I should have bought stock in that place. And anyway, so we'd go and she'd turn to me and she'd say, Will you order for me? And I remember the power of words from a a mentor that I had years before that told me I was organized when I did not think I was organized. And that those words just changed my whole, you know, self-reflection. So I thought of Carol, my mentor, and I said, You know what, Jennifer? You're a smart girl. You know what to order. So she'd order very tentatively, and it got better, better every week. Now, fast forward, and I don't want this story to sound like a pat on the back. It came time for the volunteer awards ceremony. I didn't even know there was such a thing, and I showed up, and I was nominated or awarded, I can't remember, by my little girl. And in the letter she wrote in her nomination, she said, Colleen always told me I was a smart girl. Now, John, that came from a mentor telling me I was organized. And I remember thinking, I am? Because I was the kid that was always leaving coats, mittens. I mean, I still do. My husband jokes, she goes, You got all your coats when you come home from a trip. But see, that's where I want people to recognize if you're intentional, it can be five words, seven words that can literally change how you view yourself. So I give credit to Carol, and I give credit to myself that I remembered that mentoring and paid it for it for it. She's a smart girl.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

I love that. Even though the simplicity of she told me I was a smart girl. Yeah. I heard you kind of say, too, I don't want this to sound like a pat on the back, so I'll go ahead and give you uh an at a girl for the the work that you did. And we talked about this before we hit the record button about how you may never know as a mentor the Impact you've made on those individuals. One, if you don't know them, but secondly, if you do, you don't know until something like that comes out.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

I think that's the greatest story ever told when that happens. And I would melt if somebody did that in front of me. So well done. I think that is really cool. So many times there are individuals who, and you use this, one of the steps you talk about is eliminate uh self-limiting beliefs on getting started.

Self-Limiting Beliefs And Mentor Types

SPEAKER_00 22:24

But folks have, you know, uh why why me? I I don't think I could be a mentor. I'm not smart enough or I'm not old enough or experienced enough. How do you answer that when they say I can't be a mentor?

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Well, the first thing that we have to recognize is they have a self-limiting belief. And anytime you spot that, you can't go into telmo, John. You've learned this over the years. If you're telling it's your data, not theirs. You could ask a series of questions, but I also point out examples for, you know, for example, there are some people that are blessed with being an encouragement mentor. I mean, these are the people that when you get into their purview, they're they're influence, you know you're not being judged. They they say, come as you are. And these people are natural encouragers, and what they do is they create something called the pygmalion effect. And the pygmalion effect is that they have the potential to see you as you could be, not as you are. And by you simply, you know, transferring that belief and that optimism, you you help people achieve a next level. You don't need a big title for that, you don't need a big office for that. And so you can also be a spiritual mentor. And as I mentioned in the book, some people get real nervous about when you talk about spirituality, I've got to fast for five days, I've got to pray 24 hours. When you think about spirituality, you know, one of the greatest tenets we teach is forgiveness. Think about how many people in business are harboring resentment towards a peer, a colleague, some of whom are bringing in big bags of anger because my parents weren't good parents, or I got a sibling. And you know, that's a heavy load that prevents you from leading your best life. Sometimes spiritual mentors just simply help you realize that, you know what, time to forgive, time to let it go. And you can lead a better life personally and professionally. So I think there's lots of ways to be a mentor. Business mentoring is what we often read about, and I think it's important. You if you've got that acumen, serve on a nonprofit board. They're often very smart people there, but they may lack business acumen on marketing. They may lack business acumen on you know investments, and we can we can step up and use our business acumen there.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

When you talk about at the end as well in the book, kind of sort of toward the back of cataloging your strengths or your gifts that you have, your talents that you have, both into soft skill talents that you may have, to your point being an encourager, that can mean very much a soft skill, or those more hard skills like sales tools or um again in manufacturing, teaching them lean or something like that. Those are very hard skills that can be taught as well. And you can be a mentor in both of those spaces. So I think it's so important for folks to see how they can be a mentor, just to your point as well, in terms of their behaviors and how they model that, where people can see that happening, because there are some things at the very end, the last few stories, from intention to impact. I often use this saying, you know, we can have the best intention of the world, but if we don't have discipline with that intention, we'll just make excuses. You put the two together, intention and discipline, and you get excellence. I think it is there in mentoring as well. We must be intentional, we must find the time, we must make that happen. You say, who, me, yes, excuse me, who, me, yes, you, and you quote Irma Bombach, which I love that quote as well. You know, at the end of my time here on earth, I want to know that I've used it all up. How do you encourage folks? How do you tell them to get in the game and make that happen?

SPEAKER_01 25:38

And so that one I think we have to deal with. We deal dealt with one myth, and I'm gonna call it a myth, John. I'm not qualified, right? So you can be a resiliency mentor, you can be an encouragement mentor, spiritual mentor, tough love mentor. Then let's take a look at the excuse of time. So I encourage people to do a time audit. And again, look at what you're saying yes to, maybe you should be saying no to, but then get creative. So, for example, if you're a busy manager, well, you know what? Ask somebody to drive you to the airport. You can get 45 minutes of mentoring there. And the example I use in the book, I belong to the National Speakers Association. And we always have somebody

How To Start Mentoring Today

SPEAKER_01 26:12

speak up, uh, pick up the speaker at the airport, you know, for hospitality. Well, guess what? That speaker, you're getting a lot of mentoring there. Um, if you're already working out, invite a mentee to work out with you. If you're taking a hike, you can have a wonderful conversation for 30 or 45 minutes. So you can get very creative. As um, you know, as a leader, you can have a panel, whether it's Zoom or in person. You can bring back seasoned veterans, maybe people that have retired. And I know you said John Maxwell's next book is on failure. I think one of the greatest things you can do is have seasoned professionals tell about their worst failure. I mean, they're usually funny as the dog, right? Um, I mean, I remember when I was trying to build this business and I had some event and I was gonna be the speaker and I was collaborating with another referral partner. John, one person showed up. One person. So now you fast forward. I don't even think that person was in sales. And so you fast forward, yeah, she's the number one, so and so. But nobody knows, and so it gives encouragement to people going, she landed here, but she was speaking to one person, or I had somebody in a marketing talk. Like again, when it was building the business, the group was all retired. One person fell asleep. But what was great is the person that had hired me for that event, or wasn't even hired, it was a free marketing talk. She had access to another association of which I was hired, and guess what? Lots of great things happened. So I think, you know, get those failure stories out there too.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

So good. Now, you talked about those stories and the failures of successful individuals who have overcome. We're most powerfully positioned to help the person that we used to be, is something that you know, I often quote Rory Vaden on, no doubt about it. You've got stories from over 20, over 20 people inside of your book. Is there a favorite one that you like that you kind of read over and you just chuckle or you shake your head and say that it was a really cool story? Be unfair probably to the people, but I'm gonna ask you anyway.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

There were so many great stories. I will share with you the one we led off with because it was supporting our whole premise on why we think mentorship is more important than ever, was from Anito Cobain, who is the president of High Point University. And, you know, he came here as an immigrant with $50 in his pocket. And he tells the story of when he was meeting with the dean, and unbeknownst to Nito, there was an anonymous donor that paid for the gap in his tuition. And he had no idea he had a gap in his tuition. I mean, he was working, he was trying to do everything. And so he made uh a pledge to God at that point. He said, The minute I start making money, I am going to help people get educated. And so, you know, fast forward how many years later he's the president of this university. But what I also like about what he's doing at the university is for every freshman that comes on board at the university, they sign up for 50 hours of civic service, meaning volunteer work. Why this really strikes me is because in this very social media, it's all about me world, is he is teaching young professionals, young people to be other absorbed rather than self-absorbed. Now, think about where that started, an anonymous donor. How many of us have money right now that we could be contributing to somebody's scholarship and they don't even need to know it, right? So I think that story landed on me for so many reasons because I do get worried, and it's one of the reasons we wrote the book, the impact of social media, the unintended consequences that we called it, of social media and technology, more self-absorption, breakdown in community. We're disconnected even though we're connected. So that's why that story really resonated.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Love that. So I think, you know, you you touched on this inside of the book of getting started. Uh, you know, folks I think may be inspired inside of this message right here to become a mentor. So I think the book is a great way to get started. That's one of the ways. What's another way, someone who said, you know, after listening to this conversation, I just how do I get started today being a mentor? What would you suggest to them?

SPEAKER_01 29:55

You know, I think make it, don't make it such a big project. So, like I volunteer for a nonprofit here. I go in and teach emotional intelligence to their graduates of a leadership program. So it's project oriented, right? And I can work it around my schedule, my travel schedule, they're very, they're very flexible that way. Think about something you could maybe do in chunks. And uh so that's what I would do. I'd start chunking this down. And then the other thing is look at your week this way and decide for a week you're gonna look up and around. And the question you have in your mind, who could I help with encouragement? Who could I be like a res you can be a resiliency mentor? Everyone, John, and you've been around this planet long enough, is going through something. And how you go through something can be a model for other people. You know, it's the old saying, you come out better, not bitter. And so I believe it's it's I can be at the grocery store and I can compliment the clerk, you know, because I don't really like doing that self-checkout. I screw it up. I I spend more time self-checking out than I do with somebody in line.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Yeah, you see the blinking lights, like, oh no, there's this person that needs help over here again.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

Somebody just paid attention to them. Now, you may not many people would argue that's a mentor moment. I think it is. You know, maybe I made somebody feel more important that day. Maybe I made them recognize that their job is important. It's not easy.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

Back to that, my Angelo quote. Doesn't matter if you went through the line with them and they were doing the work. You made them feel special with regards to what was happening.

Walk-Up Song Billboard And Where To Connect

SPEAKER_00 31:27

All right, speaking of feeling special, because we have flown through our time, I I do want you to maybe um lift yourself up here just a little bit. You go on stages all the time. You're speaking about sales, you're training people on sales. Now, you know, the mentoring is providing you the opportunity to talk about that as well. You don't get to speak to just one person anymore, you get to speak to many. When you walk up on the stage, what's the what's the walk-up song they play for you when you walk up on stage?

SPEAKER_01 31:50

A Gloria Gainer, get on your feet. That tells you my age.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Love that. Now, would you sing it on karaoke as well?

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Get on your feet, get up and make it happen.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

All right. I don't think I've had anyone get yeah. Hey, karaoke was never about good. Uh, it was about courage, is what karaoke's about, absolutely, and not being afraid to embarrass yourself as a mentor. And I don't say I'm not saying you did either. That would be something that I would do on the podcast is to start to sing this has been a great conversation. I know the folks who have listened uh who are going to find great value, and I would encourage them uh to go out and get your book as well. And if they're interested in sales, to to really follow you on YouTube as well. You've got some great sales training videos out there on emotional, as you said, on the uh emotional intelligence side, as well as ultimately being inspired in that sales process side as well. So thank you so much for adding value. I'll bring the last question to you, give you the last word that um I ask all my first time guests. And that I'm gonna give you a billboard. You can put any message that you want to put on that billboard. What's the message that you put on it and why do you put it on there?

SPEAKER_01 32:58

The billboard is make a difference, be the difference.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

Love that. Make a difference. And I I love the the B side of that as well. That's how how you live that, how you make that happen. So good. How do folks get in touch with you, Colleen? Learn more about you. I mentioned the YouTube page. What where can they uh get in touch with you?

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Uh you know, they can go to our webpage. We actually have a lot of free resources there. It's salesleadership development.com, and that also has a page on our mentorship, uh, workshops we offer on that. It's got the book resources, lots of uh other, again, free resources there. I'm pretty active on LinkedIn, so I encourage them to reach out to me on LinkedIn as well. So excellent.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

Salesleadershipdevelopment.com. That's a great domain. You must have got that one a little while little ways back.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

Twenty-six years ago, yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

Okay, okay. I was gonna say that's that's one that uh you would some folks would have to work for or buy that one really good. So we'll put a link to that in the show notes. Again, Colleen Stanley, it's been uh great having you on as a guest on the Uncommon Leader podcast. Wish you all the best in the future.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Thank you. I appreciate this opportunity to talk about our new mission and passion mentorship.

Closing Challenge To Mentor Someone

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Amen. Colleen was such a great guest. I had a great time on that conversation with her. I certainly love the conversation about the running nun and some of the things that just kind of align with the way that I grew up as well as a kid. But mentors in our lives are so important. I would encourage you to be a mentor to somebody today and just know that you may not even know. She talked about it could be as simple as saying hello to somebody in the checkout line, or as detailed as being a mentor when you stack habits like exercise or a fitness outside that you could have someone with you, or a formal mentoring culture that you're trying to build inside of your organization. So if you heard something on here that tremendously impacted you, just put a comment down in the notes. Love to hear from you and what that meant to you. Also, please share it on your platform. That's the way we get into the uh hands of more listeners to the Uncommon Leader podcast, just like you. Until next time, go and grow champions.