12 - Keith Miller and Teresa Weston - Wide-Eyed Wisdom Your Adulting Guide to a Purposeful and Prosperous Life

Welcome back Uncommon Leader Podcast nation! I've got a first for you today on the show. Today's guests are the father daughter team of Teresa Weston and Keith Miller. They are the coauthors of the book WIDE-EYED Wisdom. This is a book for equipping young adults on their transition to adulthood. It's a framework, if you will, to help young people bridge the gap between 18 and adulting. I appreciate how Keith and Teresa express why they wrote their book. It was to help families to lead their kids better and to get better starts and not dig a hole for themselves before they even get a start in the world. Imagine what would be possible if we equipped and mentored young leaders on understanding money issues, career choices, and even better character traits such as forgiveness self-confidence discipline and loving others. This book is so needed. You're gonna LOVE what they have to say!!

Stay in touch with Keith & Teresa and learn more about this WIDE-EYED Wisdom movement at their website wide-eyedwisdom.com .  You can also connect with them personally on their LinkedIn pages:

Teresa Weston & Keith Miller

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Transcript

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Welcome back. I've got a first for you today on the uncommon leader podcast listeners. Today's guests are the father daughter team of Theresa Weston and Keith Miller. They are the coauthors of the book. Wide-eyed wisdom. Wide-eyed wisdom is a book for equipping young adults on their transition to adulthood. It's a framework. If you will, to help young people bridge the gap between 18 and adulting. I appreciate how Keith and Theresa express, why they wrote their book. It was to help families to lead their kids better and to get better starts and not dig a hole for themselves before they even get a start in the world. Imagine what would be possible if we equipped and mentored young leaders on understanding money issues, career choices, and even better character traits such as forgiveness self-confidence discipline and loving others. This book is so needed. So let's hear from the. A ride. It's great to have Theresa Western and Keith Miller on today's uncommon leader podcast. I'm looking forward to the conversation today, and we're going to talk about wide-eyed wisdom, not just a book, but some of the wisdom they have that can help to influence you and make a difference in your life as well. So Theresa and Keith welcome. How are y'all doing? It is a pleasure to be here. John, we're excited about getting a chance to speak with you today. Good, good. Well, I appreciate you spending the time to do this and I always start off each podcast with a story. That's the first time I've had two people to interview at the same time. So I'm going to start Theresa with you and the story that I always introduce you to our listeners. And that's about a story from your youth that may still impact you in terms of who you are. Absolutely. Well, I am one of three kids. I have two brothers and my younger brother has developmental disabilities. So his whole life has been a little bit different than what you or I experience. But that's never stopped him from engaging with the world. And so when I thought about that question, I go back to when he was in high school and sports are everything. And he's not able to play, but he was able to be part of the high school football team by being the team manager. And that meant he was using his skills to the best of his ability to help with water, help with equipment, just be part of the team. He could even go on the away games with them and he really felt like part of the football team. And towards the end of the year, his. Coach wanted to recognize him. And this was a surprise and I was away at college, but we found out about it. So I got to come back to this assembly, the whole school assembly. And part of it was recognizing my brother with a character. And I tell you that meant so much to him to be recognized in front of the whole school and have everyone cheer for him and feel so valued. And, and that's something that's always stuck with me because the influence that he has had on our lives is something that you, you wouldn't know or experience unless you're in that position to be with someone with disabilities. And what that brings together for me is three things. First, it's a. If you, if you have not been around someone with disabilities or dealt with that on a firsthand basis, it's hard to understand the privilege that it is just to go about our normal lives and deal with jobs, deal with education, deal, with reaching for the next goal, the next tier, working for your family. Cause not everyone gets to do that. So, so it's a privilege and a blessing to be able to toil through some of these things that we. The second thing is that no matter what you do always do it to the best of your ability. And then the third from the leadership perspective is that recognition and encouragement is so important, not just for your star player, but for the whole team. And so I think looking back that's just had his experience in my life has just been transformational for how I see. Theresa. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that story. And yes, I can. Absolutely. While my brother didn't have a disability, it's a similar story. He had a heart defect. They wouldn't allow him to play basketball, which he had a passion to do. And he didn't find that out until he was around in middle school and to be starting with it and end to be stopped as he went through. That was really a challenge, but to, to see and to, and to live as a, as a sister with that as, as a family members, And support. I cannot imagine what that felt like for you to be back there, to see, see him receive that recognition. So listening to that from the leadership perspective as well and how it's so important to recognize all team members and not just the stars that are a part of that absolutely is a, is a very important thing. And my guess is it's, as you said, has had an influence. Who you are today, both as you raise your three children as well. And the, and the influence that you have with them, as well as some of the things you've been doing it from a career standpoint. And you're writing as we get into that a little bit more today. So thank you for sharing that story. I think that's pretty cool. And I know that I can hear it in your voice as you, as you listen through that, that it had a big impact on you and still does today. Well, I want to honor everybody's time and really recognize that it's going to be hard for us to get through all of the things that I love to talk with you about today, but I'll come to you, Keith, and, and really start to think about the book wide-eyed wisdom. So that's, that's a book that you've written recently that you want to share really with a community that is in need. And so tell me a little bit about the. Why you, why the two of you wrote it and what is the impact you're looking to have with the book? It. John, we, we really first off, I want to recognize Theresa that I, I couldn't have gotten it done without her. She, it's a little bit of a, I'm a business major, did great in college. But she's a business major who excelled in college and with an English minor, which to me is a little bit strange as a business student bay. She did it. And thank goodness because we need it. Going back to the, to the book. When I left my career I really felt a calling to write this. it was one of those cases where you, Keith, you've got to get down out of your brain and onto, onto paper in this case, what is on your brain and on your heart. And really what has been the Genesis if you will, is I watched the families. I hear in the news. Gun violence. So we got to do something about guns and there's problems with student loans. And we got to forgive the loans and their divorce situations and their drug problems and suicides and everything else. Everything you can imagine touches on racism, all kinds of subjects. And it seems to me that what's going on out there is not the treatment for it. The politician. We want to treat the symptoms and what I'm saying. And through this book, we need to back up, we need to go back upstream. It's the families that have taken the brunt of the damage. The families in our country really, really need help. And so it was my effort to get started to say, what can I do? To help families and to help them lead their kids, help them get better starts so that whether they stay out of debt or they get on the right path for themselves, or for goodness sake, they don't dig a hole for themselves before they even get on the right path. And so it was really that to say, what can we do to help families? And then Teresa joined me in. And that's the quest that we're on is to really help our families and help their kids in, in the younger folks younger generations get a better start in life when I sift through the book and I see that purpose. And again, I hear that in your voice as well, with regards to the impact on families in our community. And the challenges that we're facing today. And as I, as I read through the book and I had, maybe several pages that I've already kind of commented on or highlighted or made earmarks on the pages, there are certain things that. Because of our background, you and I keep not just, not just from an operations or from a business background, but that you and I had the opportunity and the privilege to be coached as well by an organization that talked about something called a life plan. And we got to that life plan so late in our lives, that it was something that. I think, even as you say that and you're write the book, it was something like, wow, it would have been pretty cool to have something like this in college and a curriculum that existed, or even earlier in high school to make that work. And it sounds like that's really what you're trying to accomplish a little bit through the book. Is, is that a little bit what's there and tell me more about that life plan to you. And I'd like to have Theresa comment on this as well. That. I guess the start is, look, you, you have to first understand where you want to go. If you don't understand what the destination looks like, how would you, how will, you know, when you get there, how will you know how to get there? So you really need to understand the destination. And then of course, a big part of that is understanding your values and your value system, how you make decisions and what's important to you. And so. Wanted to lead off early on before we get into some of the other topics that you look, you really need to understand those characteristics of, of how you operate, where you want to go. What's important in order to understand what you need to do to get there. And, and frankly, you look at so many people today, they're really unhappy because they figured out that the job. Or the, the student loans they took out or the college or whatever is not going to get them anywhere near where they dream to be. And so let's back up again. Let's back up before we get into the world and really look at those things right out of the gate. And frankly again, it's not that it's not rocket science to look at where you want to go. But I, I have operated on the plan implement control model for a long, long time. And most people jump right into implementation when they're looking at anything they do in life. And if they'd spend an adequate amount of time in planning and that control or that follow-up step the middle step of implementation is just work. It it's, you've defined it and you know what you need to do. So we don't spend enough time planning. Yeah, and doing smart planning and we certainly don't spend enough time checking up to see where we are in that process. We just get right into the work and let the world take us in a direction. And unfortunately, it's usually not the direction we want to go in or what we have done. No, I think you're spot on. And I'm going to come to your Teresa with a question because when I listened to that and I've heard, I'm, I'm full of isms. There's, there's little things that pop into my head, but I've heard, people will spend more time planning a one-week vacation than they do planning their life. And if they just spent, half the time planning their life and what's possible. And worked on the implementation, imagine what would be possible. And what I love about actually early on in the book that you challenge is, is really a paradigm that exists in today's space that you have to go to college. Because again, if you know what your values are, not what you want to do, but what your values are because it's hard to tell a 17, 18 years old what you want to do when you grow up. And I'm still trying to figure it out at times, myself, what I want to do when I grow up. But if you know your. As an individual that can be very helpful. One of the things you touch on inside the book and in that life plan though, as we get forward with it is that this topic of work-life balance and that it doesn't exist cave. And I want to, I want to come to you Teresa with that, because as soon as it was read inside the book, it really talked about you and your journey through education, as well as your work life. And then when you had a family, it started out, what does that term mean to you? That work-life balance and how have you planned and implement it to make that work with. That's an interesting question, because I think if you were to ask a lot of women leaders out there right now, you might hear, you can do it all. You can have a fantastic career and, and raise your family. And. And you can do it all. And I just, I don't believe that that's true because I think we always have trade-offs and at different times in our lives, it can be okay to trade something off here and there. At times perhaps your is the pinnacle and you let everything fall underneath and how you're going to support that. At other times, you may have to shift it, whether it's a health concern where you really have to take care of yourself and you can't be traveling every other week or you can't. Be there for late nights for your career, or maybe it's your family, where your kids need you. And, and that's where I found myself is that I've, I've always been very driven and, and expelled in the school space, the workspace. And I love the idea of working, working hard and continuing to Excel. But I knew that when I had kids that that value for family was so important. And at some point I had to shift where the career had to take a back seat to my family. And I have three beautiful children now. And that has been my primary work has been with my kids and there's nothing better, but I have to say it's painful something. I miss that that career is, that was and what I would like it to be. And I think that that is perhaps the understanding that's missing. As I figured out, I couldn't do the career to the hundred percent, like I would love to, and still give my family a hundred percent. So at this time in my life, my family gets the hundred person. And I get to focus that energy that I have in building and giving to others. Yeah. So I love that. And so the balance really still exists. But it's the choice that you make with regards to where you want to invest that time. Work-life balance is not 50% of the time and work 50% of the time in life. That's, that's not what balance really means as we go through that life plan, especially. And it changes at least as I hear you talk about it at different points. In your life, you know, you may get a chance to get that back at some point that career. But right now you've made a choice and I think it's very Admiral choice to focus your time on the development of your children, which actually leads me into my next question, because you think about wide-eyed wisdom. I mean, the, the target of this book is the young is the, is I don't know if it's the youth. You can tell me kind of who your target population is, Theresa with the book, but how are you introducing intentionally these concepts? To to your children now, as they start to age and get all yet. And I think on the, on your LinkedIn page, you mentioned may have an 11 year old as your oldest. So how do you introduce that to them? Yeah. She just recently turned 12 and I think she thinks she's 18. So we're right there with these emerging that we target with the book and financial concepts is something that we've talked about with our kids very early on. And if you were to ask my two year old daughter with her piggy bank, what she was saving for, she'd say I'm saving to go to Oregon state. So we started that brainwashing really early with her. Saving or Oregon state saving or Oregon state, which brainwashing, or both Oregon state she's known she's going to get beaver. I can't split my allegiances here. And then the other thing, the way that I help them approach school is that I tell them they always just need to give their all, I'm not concerned with their grade, but I'm concerned with them being responsible for what they're doing and doing it to the best of their best. And that's hard sometimes for a kid, cause they might, might not want to put in to school what they need to. But if they learned from now that their reward is giving their best and continuing to learn, then that's just going to serve them as they progress through their. I love that. And I, and I, at least what I hear as well as you, as you teach through that. So you've got kind of the finance side. I love that to piggy bank. I mean, I bet at 21 that just turned 25 yesterday. My son and hopefully as my wife and I talked about the frontal lobe is finally closed at 25 with regards to some of how boys age and things like that. That'll be helpful in that space, but to, to teach those concepts both from. A finance standpoint, as well as from an education standpoint are, are very important. And you know, what I hear, and what I understand about your story is that you're modeling that from a family standpoint and those values as well, to make a big impact on them. So you should be proud of that, how you're modeling the behaviors as well as you've chosen with your career. And the last thing that I really heard, and it probably leads maybe to a question for Keith again, back from the book. Cause it goes on to the next job. Is about, is about failing as well. That it's not, and I'm not necessarily to my failing classes, but it is about working hard. And if it doesn't work out for you all the time, Then that's what happens. And many people have had their favorites or biggest failures in life and still succeeded. Your book talks about, the traditional stories of Thomas Edison and Michael Jordan and Oprah and Disney and Elvis. And even Moses, I go back to Moses. You're going way back in time, Keith, I don't know if that has anything to do with your age or not. If you talk about Moses or wisdom or whatever that is, but I'll ask you, you asked the reflective question at the end of the chapter, Keith what's been your biggest or favorite failure if you will, that you've had. And that you've been able to learn from and move forward. Well, this actually goes into my college career and by, by the time I was at a community college for a couple of years, I did that for budget purposes and being close to home and so on. And it worked out great because it was what I put into it. And I had agreed to your experiences. And I transferred to a larger university to finish my four-year degree. And by this time I had a serious girlfriend who has been my wife now 41 years. And I, I was working full time 41 hours a week going to college. And I was having to drive at a a one hour or one way commute, morning and then home in a full-time class. And I was used to putting in sort of not the greatest effort and still getting great grades. And so I got to the university and my first, not really a failure, but I got like a 71 on my first test. And for, for a high achiever, that was like, holy smokes. You know, I had not put in what I needed to, to, to handle this. I started questioning was I up to the task here at this big university? And it was my wife, Cindy now who my girlfriend at the time, I said, well, maybe this isn't cut out for me and I'm not cut out for it. And I can't go through scoring at that rate and do a good job here. And she just looked at me and said, look, if we're going to have a future, You're going to have to just get in there and do what it takes to do what you want to do and do a better job of studying university. And so, so, okay. So I did that and I still continued to work, but I put more into my schooling and then I ended up leading that class. And so went from there and I continued on. And, and in all of my classes, really, from there on, I just had to learn a valuable lesson about what I needed to put in and to not give up and to just get going. Well, it sounded like you had a wise person beside you to kick you in the tail to say, get over yourself and move forward as well in terms of making through that. So to have somebody beside you or with. On that journey sounded pretty powerful also in terms of, well, it is John and I think that's one big part of this whole wide eyed wordy. Uh, Y Y wisdom journey for us is that all four foot 11 and a hundred pounds of her, she's a petite, tiny, powerful little thing. And she still lives to. Had to be there and I needed that partnership. I needed that person to stand there and not only give me a kick in the pants every now and then, but also to encourage me and to remind me of what was in front of us. And I think that's the same thing with the Booker or our journey is that liquid, there are no misgivings here about younger generations, whether it's young adults in their, gen Z or millennials picking up this book and saying, oh, let's get, go on this. They, they, in our opinion, in my opinion, they need a coach or a mentor, a parent, somebody that they respect as you, as you just pointed out to stand alongside them, to help hold them accountable, to help keep them moving and not let them give up because the worst failure as you'd give up. It, you know, and in fact, the worst failure is if you give up before you. And, and in this case at the university I had barely started. So it would have been terrible after the first couple of weeks to just bail out. But you really need somebody there. And of course, as we go forward on this, we know that the coaches and the mentors, the parents, those folks that really care about the younger generation need to be there to help get them started and help keep them moving until you can let go. And they're on. Well, and there's a persistence that exists there, right? I mean, it, it actually is very difficult, at least in my experience. And I'd be curious. To know a little bit more about what you're experiencing, but to kickstart that on their own hand, the book hand, this book to a 17 year old, they're gonna be like, what am I going to do with this? It's going to sit on a shelf, but you touch on it. That, that mentor, that person that will be there with them to go with them on the journey to help them. Get through the failures that are, that are going forward. And, and I, look, it's not about to rush. It's just about time as we go through, but I want to combine something again, because as I get to the end of your book, as you talking about being a mentor, helping them develop a life plan, develop the values of the career mindset that you go for. That finance, that even career growth as they start to get older and go through that. But you get to the end of it. And you talk about getting in the game and that's kind of the last chapter that I read and what I love about some of the key words and getting in the game. When I talk about uncommon leadership, it's these qualities, these are the types of words that I hear that are different than commonly. When I hear the word forgiveness. When I hear the word self-confidence love others and have discipline. Those are, those are the words that exist in uncommon leadership that are needed to help the young get through this challenge. I mean, I wouldn't want to be a teenager in today's world. I wouldn't want to go through that again with how things in time have changed and especially go through that without a mentor, somebody really cares about me. Even a bigger challenge. And so Theresa, I'm going to, I'm going to throw it over to you and I'm going to finish with you Keith, on my last question. But when you think about those words, forgiveness, self-confidence love others and discipline, and I compare it to what you talk about, what your goal is on your LinkedIn profile. That says your goal is at each person place in. With which I interact is enhanced through my creativity, energy and care. What, what do you want to have as an outcome of wide-eyed wisdom and with regards to what your goals are and how it, how it resembles that uncommon leadership that is in that last chapter? I want to change. And I think that that's something we can do in our young people right now, they're looking to social media, they're looking to their friends, they're looking to these sources that are not real. And they're, they're missing out on their real life. So by the time they get to where the expectations and responsibilities that lay on them, they're buried and they're heavy and they might not have hope. So what I want to do is give them the tools. Give them the encouragement, but also hold them accountable to rise to what they're capable of rising to. And I think that's through, through, through mentoring, through teaching them, but also showing them love and compassion as this is different. This is not what the world is, teaching our young people. Amen. Thank you, Theresa, for sharing that, Keith, how do we, how do we engage? How do we call our listeners to action? What do they need? Well, you mentioned it earlier, get in the game. You know, the, the scenario here for me as I look at families and I look at our younger generations and Theresa mentioned about the sources where they go for information and what they trust, it's scary that, that who's counseling, the younger, younger generations and who, and who has that voice and who has that platform. And it's a scary, some of those things. So. Really, I think those that are leaders and those that are effective leaders need to get in the game, get in there. You're here for a purpose. And it's more than just making money and, and feeding the marketing machine. You're here for a purpose and there's leadership skills that you have been given to you that you've learned, use them and use them for, for a higher purpose there. Goodness, we have such a shortage of leaders, all the effective leaders in this world and in this country, and we need you. We need you to get in there. Some younger generation folks under your wing, they may not be the family members. But as I learned early in my career, the most important thing I could do was to develop people constantly as a leader and to be an effective leader. And that's what I'm saying is start and never stop in, in develop people. And that's going to separate. You from somebody who's a managing or holding that position, it's going to separate you. As you said, John and uncommon leader, all the stuff has to have an undying passion for that development of others. You know, the name of my company is growing champions. It's, it's growing yourself so that you can grow more champions. It's making an impact on the communities that we have theresa, how do my listeners learn more about wide-eyed wisdom and stay in touch with you and Keith, and then Keith, I'm going to come to you with the last question. Okay. Come visit us at Y dash I'd wisdom.com. We're also on Facebook and Twitter, but at the website, Y dash I'd wisdom.com. You'll find our blog and some resources and give us a call, drop an email, and we'd love to. Excellent. Thank you, Teresa RIQ. You get to bring it home. So I always, I always finished with the same question as well. And I'd love this almost as a call to action, but I'm giving you a billboard for wide-eyed wisdom. Okay. Or I'm giving you a billboard for you and a million people are going to see it every day. I don't know if it's going to be on social media or if it's going to be on the highway at right outside Oregon state university in terms of where it goes, but what does that billboard say? And what do you want our leaders to leave with? Well, number one, I think, realize that yourself and those around you have much greater capability than what they believe they have. It's well beyond what you believe in and recognize that, that you've got that capability and sort of those folks around here. And when you're faced with something, particularly if it's something uncomfortable or not, Give it a whirl, world as in w H IRL. I learned that a long time ago that gosh, we're capable of so much. Yeah. You may never, never have done it. But I learned to do that early on in John, I got involved in all parts of organizations because I was willing to say yes in and do my best and did things. That I would have never dreamed I would have done and that people would have asked me to do and to lead. And it's been so valuable because it's given me such a great background and I can speak on so many topics that I would've, I would've never dreamt that I would have done in. It's helped me develop a greater confidence that, Hey or Hey, I'm capable of a lot more, and I, and I think those around us are you just have to get in there. As I said, give it a whirl, love that, give it a whirl. And it, speaking of it, like even our time, it was a world as it went through over the last 25 to 30 minutes of our conversation. So I appreciate both of you being available today and sharing about wide-eyed wisdom. I'll put the website in the show notes as well as connections with you all on Facebook as well. And my guess is we're going to get a chance to talk at something like this, again, as you continue on your journey. So I wish. Success and what you're looking in the, in the D looking for and the difference you're looking to make. So give it a whirl and keep going. Okay. Thank you all for being on the show. Thank you, John. What a pleasure. It was to speak with Keith and Teresa today, before I go any further, I think it's important that you know, that you can learn more about their book and other services that they provide by going to their website at wide-eyed wisdom.com wide dash I wisdom.com. Now, if you key takeaways for me as I went through this, the first thing is a problem solving technique. Teresa talked about it was playing. Implement and control. One of the first things I learned out of college from one of my supervisors was that if you, if you measure it, then you can control it. And if you don't measure it, you can accept it. Second big takeaway for me was to get in the game leaders. You've been given gifts. It's time for you to get in the game and develop others. Use those gifts, and you were given those gifts for higher purpose. Make it happen. And thirdly, I love the model that Keith had at the end. Give it a whirl. You have capabilities, recognize that. Give yourself some credit and give it a whirl. Are you interested in receiving a free copy of wide-eyed wisdom for yourself or someone young who needs it? Drop me a note, John, at growing champions dot. With wide-eyed wisdom and the subject line, and your name will be added to a list. It could be drawn as a lucky winner. If you enjoy this podcast, share it with others. Thanks again for listening. And until next time go and grow champions.